Why I Create - Alexander Scelso
This month, in honor of PLAY, some of us here at I AM Global are doing a simple exercise, based on a piece I once read called “Why do I write.” The piece was simple in its execution, simply a stream of consciousness list of over 100 reasons across four pages of why they write.
Which brings us to our prompt for the month: “Why do I create?”
We invite you, too, to participate in this form of play. You can sit somewhere you like and just start writing, stream of consciousness style, saying things even if they aren’t true, just to see what you create. You might just find something that surprises you about yourself!
Why I Create
By Alexander Scelso
I create because I lived vicariously through the dreams in my head and if I didn’t let them out somehow, my head would explode. I create to carve out a place for myself to belong. I create to control my destiny even though I know that it is impossible in the long run. I create to implement safe spaces. I create to inspire others. And myself. I create to destroy toxic walls and fences that say feelings don’t belong. I create to make people cry but in a good way. I create to encourage people to think with their hearts. I create to give people wings. I create to apologize to my ambition and my intuition for stifling them. I create because it makes me stop pacing in my room having an existential crisis. I create because I’m itching to act. I create poems to act out because I have a hard time trusting other people’s writing sometimes. I create because words are my weapon of choice. I create because my poetry is bubbling over and I can’t cork it. I create out of obligation to stay active in art no matter what. I create because my mother stopped dancing. I create because my grandma stopped playing piano. I create because my aunt used to do stand up comedy. I create because my biological father used to draw beautifully and that’s one of the only nice things I can say about him. I create because my stepfather made beautiful flower arrangements I can imagine at my own wedding someday. I create because I can’t imagine my life without acting and performing. I create because I’m inspired by French toast and long walks with an iced cappuccino in hand. I create because I get anxious by myself. I create when I’m not being contacted to act in something. I create because my creative writing teacher in high school thought I had potential and wanted to hear my voice. I create to shut up anyone who doubts me. I create when I go through a breakup and have no way of getting closure. I create because it is my retail therapy. I create out of a need to share and connect. I create because I’ve cried in silence. I create because ancestry says I’m 15% attention whore. I create because I want it all….love, steady performing work, and a legacy that is mine. I create to whisper to God because I don’t want anyone to hear I am asking for help or for what I want. It’s my way of praying. I create because queer voices matter. I create to perpetuate the homosexual agenda. I create because I want my audience to feel like my family. I create because it feels like my purpose and my pen is magnetized to my journal. I create out of the hope that I can make the world more empathetic. I create because the more I learn about myself and my place in this world, the more I want others to find their guiding star. I can’t draw constellations, but I create so I can help strangers and loved ones alike look within to find them and take moments to stand still and look up occasionally.
My name is Alexander Scelso and I am a Brooklyn born and raised actor and spoken word poet (I’m learning how to say that confidently). I’ve done some plays, little films sporadically, and am unlearning how to let that define me in terms of success. I have created a one-person show called The Unicorn That Discovered Self Love because I didn’t want to wait until someone with work calls me. Introverted extrovert. Libra, foodie and hopeful romantic.